This Isn't Wonderland

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

peaceful-moon:

i love this

sorry:

when a plan sounds good in your head:

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but then you try it out in real life:

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me: *buys merch intended for males because all the female merch is ugly as hell*

breakingbag:

yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out

daydreams-at-midnight:

I am actually surprised she put up with me trying to get her to guess all 48 of these guys, but she did and this masterpiece is the final result. I still can’t get over her thinking Yoshi was Kirby, I mean, I could understand her mixing him up with Jigglypuff but… Yoshi?

sylvysparrow:

…i’m listening.

sylvysparrow:

…i’m listening.

sn0wsgh0st:

me lol

sn0wsgh0st:

me lol

infiltration:

sometimes i realize there are so many things i won’t remember in 50 years like the way the sky looked this morning and all the dogs i saw today and my mom’s voice and i get so sad i never want to forget